But there is controversy among marital therapists over the kind of therapy that is most effective.

His mother retired as a marital therapist in Richmond.

Dr. Louis Gallagher, a clinical psychologist and marital therapist in Smithtown, said his practice was also booming.

Milton Erickson, a marital therapist, when asked how he would describe a good marriage, answered:

"Most marital therapists downplay the idea of having better fights these days," Dr. Simon said.

He had enraged marital therapists by dismissing "active listening" - in which partners parrot back each other's feelings - as meaningless to a good marriage.

Dr. Laura J. Singer, a marital and family therapist in Manhattan, said that close ties between grandparents and grandchildren allow children to learn their family's history.

There are now some 50,000 marital therapists in the nation, but with half of marriages doomed to fail, they are still in short supply.

The kinds of problems that family and marital therapists see range from incest or domestic violence to common communication problems in marriage or a child's suddenly failing in school.