"I was actually pulling out of the tackle," he complained, recalling a failed attempt to marmalise the former England outside-half Andy Goode, his intended victim.

It would also marmalise the Labour Party's entire funding model based on trade union sponsorship: as the Committee observed, such a cut-off would remove well over 90 per cent of Labour's finances.

Designers of The Smiler went so far as to hire psychological experts to help ramp up the fear factor on the $27 million ride that its public relations folk claim will "marmalize" riders, a term they invented that means, "feeling spaced out and mashed up."