The Old Boot or Coffin Dodger, anyone?

(Coffin dodger — good advice — Windows gets confused by the streaming tech if you have two AV windows open)

The self-proclaimed 'Coffin Dodger', of Homerton, east London, said: "I initially thought of a casket design but I quite like the shape of coffins."

He said he was called a "freak" and "coffin dodger", had his shed set on fire, had youths demanding money from him, and been pelted with missiles and spat at.

Ellis has written two books of self-published poems, one of which won the national Sefton Poetry Award in 1992, and a comedy book, 'Journal of a Coffin Dodger' which was short listed for the Best British Audio Comedy Book in 2004.