"He is in unoccupied premises under suspicious circumstances," said Gregson.

"A burglary is a theft in unoccupied premises," Mordon explained.

"In the month of October, 63 private house alarms were sent into headquarters, and 42 of them were unoccupied premises."

Her offer of an unguided tour of her unoccupied premises struck me as a consolation prize of sorts for having come all this way and never getting past the front door, but I decide to take her up on it in my best investigative-reporter role.