I love to make fun of my helmet hair.

Apart from helmet hair, it was a fancy way to arrive.

She has a bad case of helmet hair.

Jo's new hair style, said to prevent helmet hair by the simple expediant of looking bloody stupid at all times.

"Usually that translates as helmet hair."

With her steel-framed specs, helmet hair and sensible shoes, Whitehouse seems the very model of social repression.

For such a highly-modified car with helmet hair intentions, the 1M retains a surprisingly luxe ride on real roads, even less than perfect ones.

However irritating non-cyclists' japes about "helmet hair" might be, helmets are critical to cushioning the head in a fall.

I'm told the combined threats of sweat, Lycra, "helmet hair" and death (perhaps not in that order) are putting the brakes on their cycling ambitions.

The sight of the Beasties in glued-on mustaches and helmet hair looks retrograde in 2004.

(Memo to Callista Gingrich: lose the platinum helmet hair.)

But an endlessly repeated snippet of videotape has locked it in the national memory as indelibly as her pre-makeover helmet hair.

Over the years motorcyclists have begun to wear do-rags, especially in states with motorcycle helmet laws, to prevent "helmet hair" or "helmet head".

These days, the man (who looks like a handsome Rod Blagojevich, sans helmet hair) hides out in the Hamptons while his apartment's being renovated.

Decades after the fall of helmet hair, she lacquered her tresses into an abstract form resembling a Dairy Queen soft-serve crossed with the Nike swoosh.

Sprawling on a couch recently in his 44th-floor office overlooking Central Park, Theodore J. Forstmann - silvery helmet hair, fresh tan - gleams.

Its latest is a gritty, blacked-out touring bike that won't give anyone a chance to check out their helmet hair simply by looking at their reflection in the chrome.

The States had Miami Vice and Armani suits; ITV gave us The Bill and helmet hair.

The event also often includes free massage, helmet hair repair, bike engravings by police, "Spokespersonalities", high profile ambassadors including CEOs and politicians, prizes and giveaways.

Sporting helmet hair, I visited St. Helena, arguably Napa's toniest town, which, like its Hamptons soul sisters, is wrestling with its popularity among the riffraff.

He remembers wistfully going to corporate headquarters where he had be among "two dozen steer-fed executives, none of them under 240 pounds, all with white helmet hair, sitting around a steel gray table."

"Newt and Callista are a matching pair even down to the helmet hair," said Irma Zandl, president of the trend and consumer insight firm the Zandl Group.

She paid her dues selecting party favors, arranging seating charts (after that, legislation is easy), and laying thick dollops of obsequiousness on cranky old moguls and their helmet hair spa-spouses.

Or, if you want a different kind of beauty shop experience, there is Alberto dei Montecchi, where they still have the old-fashioned helmet hair dryers that your mother (or grandmother) sat under in curlers.

Unfortunately, Lynch is appearing as herself and not as Sue Sylvester, her onscreen alter Glee-go, the perpetually snarling, bad attitude buried beneath helmet hair and an Adidas track suit.